Oh

Yeah, we totally got home, by the way.

Miami Vice

And other assorted cities and tools.

So yes, hello to those beautiful few who are still bothering to read this. We are still funcioning withing normal parameters (for the most part) and are cooking in our own juices in the Miami sunshine. Too graphic? Yikes. My apologies.

Anyway, we got here two days ago - but I suppose I should say a little something about our previous location - Orlando! Yes, the land of the evil mouse-led corporation of doom. No, we didn't go to Disneyland. I would have ended up kidneypunching the mouse and getting deported. Instead we went to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure for our rollercoaster-based kicks. For the record, Duelling Dragons is (are?) badass. Even more so when you aren't wearing any shoes.

Our biggest mistake of the day was riding the river rapids so late - we got absolutely drenched, as you might expect, and were still damp when we got a taxi. I can't say I feel bad about that though, as the silly bastard took us in completely the wrong direction and we ended up paying about $25 more than we should have.

We also went to Wet and Wild, a huge waterpark - lots of epic rides again, and one terrifying one: a single lane slide almost as steep as a dropslide. In and of itself this would be fine - except for the way it starts: you begin by getting into a coffin-sized box with Perspex windows, and cross your arms. When the attendant has left you crapping yourself long enough she hits a button and the floor drops away. Needless to say I screamed, and experienced the worst wedgie of my life. (tmi again? Bah, deal with it, you big wuss.)

The only downside to all this water-based tomfoolery is that my left ear has been blocked for a week. On the plus side, this is a great excuse to ignore Jason.

So yes, now we're in Miami: once again, about a block from the beach. No prizes for guessing where we'll be spending most of our time. Photos, as always, are on facebook. Much love to you all!

Dan

Past the halfway mark

So yes, as the title states we have reached and passed the halfway stage of our trip around north America. For those of you who weren't paying attention (yet are still reading), here's a quick recap:

Stop one: New York City.

Two hostels, ten days, our first taste of culture shock. Rock band in Times Square, sunburn in central park, impromptu Spanish lessons from the shopkeeper opposite the hostel. Also, mnm world. I don't know why either.

2: Toronto

Overnight Greyhounds are the devil, and Canadian customs are a lot friendlier than those at JFK. Toronto is a fantastic city, and the people we met there made us feel very welcome indeed!

3: San Francisco

Another flight. No chance we were going to take a coach, we would actually die. Our first Hostelling International hostel - very cool indeed. Highlights included a funky tram ride, fisherman's wharf and the golden gate bridge. Oh, and buying my Gir shirt. Yay!

4: Santa Monica, Los Angeles

Road trip! The six hour drive turned into a nine hour one thanks to road closures. Damned fires. Santa Monica was probably the best located hostel we've had - literally one block from the beach. Also a reasonable bus ride from Hollywood, but Santa Monica itself was the highlight for me. It's also where I picked up my iPod. My god, I love free wifi.

5: Las Vegas

What can be said about Vegas that hasn't been said a thousand times before? The place is mindblowing. Usual rules do not apply. Met more cool people, some of whom we'd met in San Fran. Talk about small world! I gambled a little and profited, Hodges gambled more and lost. There's a lesson there, people. Also, I bloody love buffets.

6: New Orleans

Internal flights > Greyhound. Totally.

The weather in NOLA, as you'd expect, is crazy. We got drenched immediately, but thankfully the Hostel was awesome - full of character. A word to the wise: if you go to New Orleans, get a decent insect repellant. My legs look like War and Peace in Braille.

Also, you can try, but you won't get a tour guide as awesome as ours. <3

So, after another Greyhound that got us here at 4am - no, apparently we didn't learn from Toronto - we're in Talahassee for a little recuperation before Orlando. Ash is coming out to meet us next week! Woo!

So yes, that's it thus far. I'd add more detail but my thumbs hurt already. Hope y'all are doing well.

Coming To You Live From Sin City

We've had five nights here in Las Vegas. If you've never been I seriously suggest you give it a try- I've never been anywhere like it.

I didn't do much gambling as I'm just not that good at it, but I did win $28.50 on a 25 cent machine, so I call that a win. The hostel has been very cool, met all sorts of cool people. We also went along on their limo tour of the strip: the 'limo' turned out to be this big van with plasma screens and a couple of dance poles - Jas and Hodges took full advantage of the free champagne. The trip also included free entry to the Coyote Ugly club. Now I don't know what it's like in other clubs, but if that's the standard you're doing it wrong, America! The dance floor was full of people not dancing, staring at the chose few women who were allowed to dance on the stage. Now I don't go clubbing a lot, but to me it's about everybody dancing, making an arse of themselves and having a good time. Instead all the focus was on these random women - lots of lecherous creepy dudes just staring and getting in our way, because we bucked the trend and danced our little socks off. Managed to get a few others dancing too, but it didn't feel like a club so much as a bad gig. Still, I had fun so it's all good.

Oh, and know what else is funny? Seeing some guy with a big sign saying "GOD HATES SINNERS" in massive letters. In VEGAS. There's a man with his work cut out.

Also also: Dark Knight = WIN.

Next stop New Orleans!

Santa Monica

Howdy from sunny Santa Monica, California.

We are, as you have probably guessed, still alive and well. You may even have seen the photos on Facebook. I won't put any here this time around 'cause it's a bit of a kerfuffle trying to get them hosted and embedding them and all of that, but I'm sure you have the facility to check them there.

Weather is beautiful here! We've done the stuff you'd expect - went to LA, walked down Hollywood Boulevard, looked at all the stars on the sidewalk, took a star tour through Hollwood, Bel Air and Beverly Hills. Very cool! Spent yesterday on Santa Monica beach while the guys took a swim, and probably doing a little shopping today. Vegas on Thursday, which means we'll be broke by next week, no doubt!

This Hostel is incredible. It's all the regular stuff, clean and friendly and well equipped - but it's situated one block from Santa Monica beach. Amazing location!

Anyway, I'll leave it at that for now. Hope you're all well.

<3

Viva viagra

Hello,
We live still.

In san fran, last night, driving to LA tomoz.

We were in toronto with all DC's geeky mates that was suprisingly amazing, have now been spending all our internet time on the webstie redvsblue.com.


have bought many t-shirts including a power rangers one for me and a Grr one for DC (what a shop)

Still eating plenty but not too healthily, i had a crab the other night which was fun and i had a special bib.

We had to skip chicago as there was suddenly no space available there and we had better calculated things realiasing we didn't have the time, got La and las vegas then new orleans or a quick dash to Florida to catch Wiley the old sod.

San fran is full of homeless folk, one dude by the trams had a banjo and played some righteous shiz! The tram was sooo fun btw, jas got a cheeky hi 5 with a girl on a tram gonin the other way.

Things are moving on a pace and we have been here for a quarter of our whole time boo.

ciao darlings xx xox

No Killer, All Filler

Just to let you know, we are still alive and in Toronto! Canada is awesome, and very friendly. The immigration dude started chatting to us about some book he was reading - all very random.

Lessons learned:

>Don't take overnight Greyhounds. You WILL NOT SLEEP and your sleep patterns will be fucked up for days.

>It's very difficult to buy booze in regular shops in Ontario. Hodges and Jas found this out to their chagrin.

>Hodges is anal about peanut butter.

Much love.

Dan